Broken
by crb7829
Summary: Karmy AU: After the wedding things changed between Amy and Karma. Karma lost a lot that night. She lost her best friend, her happiness and her brother. This story is about Karma finding life without Amy and accepting who she is.
1. Prologue

**So this is my first fan-fiction I have written. I hope it is not terrible. Please leave a comment.**

**Karmy AU:**

**After the wedding things changed between Amy and Karma. Karma lost a lot that night. She lost her best friend, her happiness and her brother. This story is about Karma finding life without Amy and accepting who she is.**

**So this is not going to be a happy karmy story. There will be drama and they wont get together for a while. Karma POV.**

Broken –Prologue

Today was the day. The day I will start with my new life without _them. _ The day I won't let _them_ influence my feelings.

Today was the first day of senior year and then off to College, the best accomplishment you can achieve at the age of eighteen! Well that is what my parents told me. Honestly I am ready to get out of Austin, Texas. Ever since freshman year and the whole Faking It fiasco with my ex- best friend I am ready to leave Austin Texas and never look back. And I am sure _they _will like that too.

A lot has changed since freshman year. I guess you can say I deserved everything that happened to me. I guess you are right. I didn't appreciate things freshman year and I paid the price. It's hard to think about that stuff but I realized that the past is apart of me and I can't change it. My past made me stronger. And as much as I had hurt. I wouldn't change anything.

I guess I should start from the beginning. Well if all started with the coolest guy at Hester High mistaken my best friend and I as lesbians. Me of course would do anything to become popular begged my best friend to pretend to be lesbians and she agreed. It was all fun a games. Got to kiss and hold my best friends hand, became popular and make out sessions with the hottest guy at school.

Then the night of the wedding. My best friends mother was getting married for the fourth time. I was also told wedding are a celebration of love. This day was no celebration. My best friend admitted to being in love with me and the hottest guy at school found out we was faking being lesbians.

Things got ugly. There were crying, screaming and then a slammed door.

There were many things I wish I said and done. Things that could have change the outcome of our current situation. But that was the past. And you can't change the past no matter how badly you wish.


	2. Chapter 1

Broken- Ch. 1

_Look at you, you're pathetic, no wonder you're alone. You deserve this. You deserve to be alone. To be sad, to be broken!_

This is how I wake up in the morning. Most girls try to boost their confidence but telling themselves positive things. But how can I be confident with everything that happened.

I have a daily routine. Wake up, get dress, go downstairs and eat breakfast, go to school, ignore _them_, come home and do homework. It is an endless cycle. I have to have routines. If I don't I will start to cry. And crying is a sign of weakness and he told me to be strong. I **have **to be strong.

So far only two people outside of my family knows. And I want it to stay that way. I can't be as strong if others know. They will break me and I have to be strong, strong for him.

I give myself one last look over in the mirror before I take a deep breath and head downstairs. Downstairs I see my dad. He used to smile at small things, like the sun coming out each morning and my mom cooking his favorite meal for dinner. Mother never cooked my favorite meal. She probably doesn't even know what it is. As I walk past Dad he keeps focus on the Austin Texas Newspaper. I don't get my usual bear hug. I miss his bear hugs. Since what happened I don't get touched much. I don't want to be touched. Being touched shows being loved. And I don't deserve to be love.

I grab a piece of toast and pour a glass of orange juice. I look around to find the new addition to our family. I guess when you lose someone you also gain someone; well I guess two someone's. The circle of life!

As I finish my orange juice I hear this annoying voice asking me what I have planned for today. I don't turn around and answer " Go to school" in the most sarcastic voice I could possible have.

"Sweetheart, I mean afterwards. Are you going hang out with A-".

"Mother, I might go to dinner with Natalie and Mitchell, so don't expect me."

I walk out the door without another word.

I decided to walk to school today. I don't care that I am late. I hear a beeping sound from my right pocket. I know its Natalie or Mitchell trying to see where I am. Sometimes I need to be alone. I want to be alone. I know they said they could pick me up and take me to school. But I don't want to bother them. They want to get closer to me. To be there for me. But I know I will just hurt and betray them. Like I did to _them._

I finally make it to school. I missed first and second period. I am at my locker putting away my books from my bag. I look to my left and see Natalie.

"Hey"

"Hey…"

"Your two periods late…"

"Yea."

Silence. This is usually how we communicate. She asks me a thousands questions, I answer with yea. I know it annoys her but I don't know what to say. I have nothing to say.

"So…"

I look at her expecting what to come next.

"Would you want to come over tonight? We can order pizza and –"

"I don't think so. I have- I have family things"

Silence again.

"Okay" she says softly looking down. She has asked me probably ten times if I wanted to come over. My answer is always I have family things. It is not a complete lie. I do have family things but not with my dad or mother, they don't even notice I'm missing. They don't even care.

Ding!

The bell rings, I turn to Natalie and give a force smile and head off to class.

I don't mean to be this way with Natalie. I know she is trying to help me. But like I said I don't deserve to be helped. She is only my friend because she feels sad for me. The only reason she knows is because she and Mitchell have been friends since sixth grade. I cringe at that number. You would think if you known someone for that long you would know who they truly are. But I guess not. You change, they change. They meet people whom she known for 3 months and pick them over you. But it's not a big deal. I deserve everything I am getting. I know that, _they _know that the whole universe knows that.

I turn the corner of the hallway and I see _her. _I see _her _blonde long hair. _Her _arms wrapped around _that _girl with long black hair. I see _her _smirking. Like she knows what she is doing to me. I keep my head up high and walk past them. I can feel their stares on my back. I keep on walking holding in my tears.

I walk through the door and sit in my assigned desk for AP World History. I don't know why I am in 4 AP classes. I am in AP Chemistry, AP Calculus, AP World History and AP American Literature. I am not that smart. I don't know how I passed the tests. When I got the letter telling me I will be placed in AP classes _she _asked if my mother gave me some special brownies to help me pass those test. I laughed. Just shows what _she _thinks of me.

I pull out my notebook and start taking notes. I am not interested in what Mr. Collins is saying. I just need a distraction from the hallway situation. As I continue to write notes I hear three words. Three words that will break me. Love, War and Freedom.

I feel like I can't breathe. Actually I can't breathe. Counselor Zachery had told me to take deep breathes but I can't. I feel like the walls are closing in. I stand up. Mr. Collins asks me what is wrong. I start to run. I let my feet lead me while my mind is a mess.

I don't know where I am going. I just know I need to get out of here.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys, here is another chapter. I hope you like it. Remember to leave a comment with any suggestions!<strong>


	3. Chapter 2

Hey All, thanks for reading my story. I hope everyone is liking this story. This is my first time writing so any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks

Broken- Ch. 2

Staring. That is how I spend most of my days. Staring at my ceiling, staring at the mirror, staring at my brother's tombstone.

Yes, you heard it right, my brother's tombstone.

My brother Zen Ashcroft has always wanted to serve for his country despite what our family thought. He was always the favorite child. _They chose me they just got you. _

My brother was adopted when I was two years old. He was seven and I was two. He was adopted from Houston from teen parents who couldn't financial take care of their son. My parents always got an honorable smile when they tell a stranger the story.

As we both grew up we started to get along better. He told me he would always be there for me. No matter what stupid fight we got in. It was hard when he graduated from high school. He called a family meeting and told us that he joined the Army. That he will be leaving for boot camp in the next month and then probably get deployed to fight for our nation. None of us knew how to take the news. As always I ignored my feelings and pretended like things will be ok. I was thirteen at the time. I didn't fully understand what fighting to be free meant. He would take me on drives around Austin. I enjoyed them. We would go to our favorite pizza place. We would play at the arcade. I started to realize that he was going to leave us and might not come back.

The day he left was the hardest. It was harder than when gam gam died. His hug was long and tight. He looked me straight in the eyes and told me that he loves me and to be strong.

My brother Zen Ashcroft died a month ago. He was serving over seas fighting for our freedom. One day I woke up, went downstairs to find my house empty. I quickly made some breakfast since I am always late. No matter how early I wake up for school I am always late. Well anyways, I went to school. During second period I get called into Principal Penelope's office. She told me to see down. I sat down. She had that look, that look that people give you when they know what they are going to say is going to destroy you but is needed to be said. Or that look when someone feels bad for you but doesn't know how to communicate with you. She told me that my parents will be here shortly and something bad has happened. I asked what. She told me that my brother 's unit was attacked this morning and he was found died. He died in Afghanistan, serving his country. I stood up and started to run. I ran and ran till my legs couldn't run anymore. I was trying not to cry. I talked to him about two weeks before. He said he might not be able to call me on my birthday. My birthday was in three months. He told me he wanted to wish me a sweet sixteen and to be expecting something amazing from him. I told him I missed him, even though we always fought. I told him I missed him and loved him. He told me to keep being strong. **To be strong for dad and mom, to be strong for him.**

Before I knew it was in the park a mile from School. I was still sinking in the news of my brother when I heard a voice behind me. He asked me if I was okay.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You look like you're about to cry."

I turn around. I see a guy with dirty blonde hair. He is about 5 feet 6 inches tall. He has brown soft eyes. He is wearing a black shirt with "I'm with Stupid" with an index finger pointing at his neck. I've seen him at school before. He was staring at me.

"I- I am being strong"

I couldn't stop what I was about to say.

"I am being strong. He told me to be strong." I feel hot tears streaming down my face.

He takes a step closer to me.

"I can't cry, crying is a sign of weakness. He told me to be strong. I can't cry."

His arms are around me. I have fallen to my knees. I have my hands covering my eyes. My head is lying on his chest.

He tells sometimes everything is going to be okay.

And for a second I believe him.


	4. Chapter 3

Broken- Ch. 3

The next morning I woke up to the smell of grass and bright sunlight hitting my face. I feel sick. Not the sick that you feel like throwing up, but the exhausted sick that you just want to just curl up in bed and shut the world out.

I feel an arm around my body; I look up to see the dirty blonde hair guy staring at me.

"Hey"

"Hey-" My voice is so raspy. I can barely talk.

He turns around and looks through his bag. He pulls out a bottle of water and hands it to me. I give a shy smile.

"Thanks"

"No problem." He wants to say more.

"Sorry about- Sorry about last night. I'm just going to go."

"It's okay Karma."

I look up at him. How does he know my name? He notice my confused look.

"I'm Mitchell" He holds out his hand for me to shake it. I oblige. "I've seen you around school. We used to have several classes together before you were transferred to honor classes. Smarty pants!"

He gives me a big smile. I look down; I don't have the energy to return the favor.

"Why don't I take you home, your parents have been worried".

"How do you know my parents have been worried?" I say before I even think about it. This makes me mad. When do they care about me?

"They called you like one hundred times last night. I answered after the tenth call. They asked who I was and I told them I am your friend. They sounded worried and wanted to pick you up, but I told them that I will stay with you tonight and bring you home in the morning".

I stare at him. Why is he being so nice to me?

"Why did you say that?"

"Say what?"

"That you were my friend."

"Because we are?" He says smiling at me like we have known each other for years.

"I don't know you, we are **not **friends". I sounded harsher than I meant to.

He still looks at me with a smile. What is wrong with this guy?

"We are friends. Friends don't let friends cry by themselves."

That phrase stung in my chest. _Friends don't let friends cry by themselves. _I couldn't stop myself from thinking of _her. _

"Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be okay. " He says looking me straight in the eyes like he knows what I am thinking. "I know right not it seems like the world is against you. But everything will be okay, you just have to strong."

He grabs my hands and pulls me up to my feet. He hugs me again. The warm feeling inside feels so foreign. I feel tears forming in my eyes.

"Are you ready to go home?"

" Home is the last place I want to go", I say honestly.

"Okay, lets get breakfast, do you like pizza?"

I don't know what is wrong with this kid. First it is breakfast time, yes you can have pizza for breakfast but there is no restaurant that is open that sells pizza before eleven in the morning. And second, well I just met this guy and he is acting like we have known each other forever. I feel my stomach growling.

"Sure, but can we get pancakes?" Chocolate chip pancakes are my favorite. Not even my mother knows that.

"Sure, I want the cooks to draw a smiley face on mine."

He puts his arm around my shoulder and we walk off to his car.

Breakfast was actually enjoyable. Neither of us said a word and just ate silently. I didn't feel the need to speak and to be honest I don't think I could if I tried. My throat hurt so badly. I've already drunk Mitchells bottle of water and three glasses from the restaurant. I start to pull out my wallet to pay for my portion of the meal. Mitchell quickly grabs my hand and brings it back down.

"I got this," he said winking at me.

I try to pull my wallet out again and the same thing happens.

"Karma, I got this. Don't worry".

The waitress is just staring back and forth at us smiling. I suddenly get the urge to use the rest room. I excuse myself from the table and head towards the rest room.

I look in the mirror. God I look terrible. My eyes are blood shot red, my hair looks messy and I have dark black circles around the bottom of my eyes. I cup my hands together and wash my face with the sink water. It makes me feel better for like two seconds. Than I get that feeling again in the pit of my stomach. I hear a beeping coming from my right pocket. I take the phone from my pocket and check the caller ID.

-MOTHER-

Great! The last person I would want to talk to. I answer the phone annoyed.

"Hey"

"Darling! Where are you? When are you coming home?"

"I'm at the café downtown. I will be home soon."

"How long will you –"

"Mother. I will be home soon."

I hang up the phone and walk out of the rest room. I head towards the table where Mitchell is. He is signing the receipt and looks up to me smiling.

"Thanks Mitchell. I'm sorry but I need to go home."

He stares at me for a moment, worry in his eyes.

"Okay, I'll drive you."

"No, no. I have been a burden. I can walk home"

"What? You are not a burden. I wanted to do this"

Why is he being so nice to me? I don't deserve his kindness.

"It's fine. Thanks for breakfast, I'll pay you back". I turn around and start heading towards the door.

"Karma." He is now standing walking my way. "I am not going to let you walk home and you are not going to repay me. I _want _to help you."

I feel my heart beating fast. I just nod and let him lead the way.

As we walk to his car I notice a brown haired nice smile guy looking at me. I haven't talked to him since _that _night and I sure in hell don't want to talk to him now. He looks at me for half a second than he is back swapping spit with this girl with long black hair and big lips. Like I am nothing. Like I meant nothing to him. I keep focus on the ground and quickly jump in the car. I tell Mitchell the directions to my house. As we pull up to my house I see my parents and the new addition to our family standing in the doorway. I look down at my hands and stare. I'm not sure if I am ready to be with my family. I feel a nudge in my left side. Mitchell some how has my phone and is typing something in it.

"Here, I just saved my number. Karma, if you need anything please _please _don't hesitate to call. I'll be here in a jiffy!"

He is looking at me with big eyes. I nod my head. He grabs my face with both hands and repeats what he just said. He says it slower and with great eye contact. I feel uncomfortable. I guess he is doing this to make sure I am hearing and understanding everything he is telling me.

"So you will call if you need me?" He asks, his hands still on my checks.

I pull away his hand and say yes. I turn around and see my parents waiting for me to come in.

I take a deep breath and open the door.

**A/N: I wanted to introduce Mitchell. He is going to be Karma's rock. We will learn more background about his life and family as more chapters' progress. Also I will go into more detail about Natalie, her life and how her friendship with Karma will be. **

**Some might wonder who this "additional family member" is. It will come clear next chapter. **

**Thank you for reading my story! If you have any comments or suggestions feel free to let me know! **


End file.
